State of Being

About 2–3 years ago, when my friends asked about my goals, I began to say "a state of being." I don't remember exactly when I made this change. Growing up, I always had a goal at every moment in life—a milestone, an exam, a thing to achieve. Almost every time they felt existential; I had to try my best or everything would fall apart, at least that's how I remember it.

But maybe after rounds and rounds of chasing goals, achieving them, celebrating, and setting new goals, I found myself back at the same place again. Except each time I had put on some age. Goals were achieved and passed, life continued.

I realized as long as life continues, I exist in a state. Goals are part of this state. So is friction. So is joy and excitement. There are tasks at hand. There are people we do it with. Sometimes I see the cup half full. Sometimes I see it half empty. There are those who have been around. There will be those who are new. There are plenty of times I'm with myself. There is space within that nothing from outside can fill.

It's not about any particular goal. When a goal is accomplished, we simply desire something else. We remain in the same state.

And if we're in the same state regardless of external circumstances, then so much of what happens in this state is our choice. Our attitude is a choice. If we choose to be grateful, we can always find things to be grateful for. If we choose to be angry, there is always a path back to anger. Our opinions are a choice. Our actions in light of circumstances are our choice.

So I commit to living in a beautiful state, or whatever you call it. I commit to being grateful. I commit to being simple when there is no need to be otherwise.

And there will still be goals. But I'll not resent the present for not being there yet or wish that they were already out of my way. True happiness comes from the sense that you're moving towards your goal. Without any goal, there will be no real joy. I hope I'll always have a goal worth pursuing. And I will genuinely pursue them. Like a voluntarily competitive sport.

I will try to be maximally useful with my time, be that in self-discovery or positive externality.

I will spend my time with people I love and respect. What I do and who I do it with—that's probably all that would matter looking back.

In an increasingly infinite world where there are millions of ways to live life and infinite things happening every moment, this seems to be a pretty good mental model to face life.